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News

Tue. 12-19-2000    News
    Today I just found out that Smashing Pumpkins broke up (Dec. 2).  I don't know if my reaction was "normal", or "safe", but I
    sat in the corner of the office strumming "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" for a couple hours.  When Tweak came over to talk to
    me about his review deadline, I think I attacked him and tried to bite his hand off.  I dunno, it really doesn't matter.  My retarded
    teachers are at it again, now assigning a giant project that doesn't have criteria upon which it will be graded.  This means that
    now in addition to doing the project, I have to somehow guess what they want me to do.  Apparently, the loss of money to us
    has ceased... for the moment.  This means that Jesus may in fact remain at the company.  I dunno, send me some mail about
    what I should do with him <crazy_bob@crazybob.cjb.net>.  Tell your friends to come to this site if you like it... if you hate it
    tell them to come as a sick joke or something.  Tweak is a dumbass and I wrote the PS2 thing that I told him to write

Wed. 12-13-2000    News
    A wise man once told me, "Young one, if sex is a pain in the ass then you're doing it wrong.  You should wear loose shorts
    and then put an armadillo down there or something cause when you're filling out loose shorts then you're a man to be reckoned with."
    I'm not exactly sure if a wise man really told me that or if I was just really baked.  Either way, it's good advice.  A few individuals
    with whom I have recently spoken to... let's label them "mentally unstable civilians"... told me that this site lacks real content.
    In fact, they even dare say that the site sucks.  I can only ask them, "Do you have another idea where I get paid yet offer
    absolutely no goods/services?"  I could only assume that by their blank stares they wanted me to punch them.  I'm sorry that
    this site is really lacking in content, but our teachers all like to assign large quantities of homework.  A normal discussion with one
    goes somewhat like this:  Bob: This will take an hour and a half to finish.  Teacher: Yes, but an hour and a half out of your day isn't
    that much to ask for.  This is high-school, get used to it... now, this is a fairly good argument... if only each of my teachers
    didn't think the same damn thing.  I'm not sure of whether they are aware of each other's presence or not, but I end up with about
    five hours of homework each night for the past week.  Not to mention the day and a half I missed standing outside of Best Buy
    waiting to get a PS2.  Tweak will have his full story on that soon...

Tue. 12-12-2000    News    Staff
    Hey children, its brutal honesty time!  Crazybob.cjb.net is poor!  Guess what?  It ain't free to be us, and seeing as how
    we don't actually make anybody pay for visiting, you must click on los banners on el top-o of el page.  If you don't, I may
    have to murder Michiko-sensei and steal her gay sweaters and sell them on the black market.  Keep in mind, no one is making
    you pay ANYTHING for visiting.  That would be communistic (god bless those crazy bastards).  Jesus will be officially
    fired within week's end.  The company continues to lose money... at an alarming rate... we are now down to about 1/8 of our
    original value.  We're not talking about thousands of dollars here, but c'mon!  CLICK THE BANNERS!

Mon. 12-11-2000    News
    We have had some minor revenue issues with our affiliates, and as such, we have just lost 80% of our total corporate
    value.  This has forced us to review our current company structure and we have as such released unnecessary personnel.
    In English, that basically means we fired Jesus.  Well, fired isn't quite the right word.  I suppose, one could say we... oh...
    stopped paying him.  He still comes in to work though, which is helpful.  If you want to laugh, head over to Sensei-isms.
    A sensei-ism is a statement which has been made by our crazed Japanese teacher, Michiko-sensei.  I would honestly have
    to say that 90% of the things that come out of her mouth make very little sense.  We destroyed the Links section.  On an
    unrelated note, Tweak has his own section where he can post his thoughts here.

Mon. 12-04-2000    News
    Jesus suggested that we create some sort of revenue to save the company.  Now I know you are thinking, whoa,
    Jesus actually did save the company!  But, due to some problems, if we can't solve some minor... contract disputes,
    Jesus gets fired.  Sucks for the son of God, eh?  Seriously, if you could click on the banners each time you visit,
    this site may last forever (and I know you all want that, right?)

Sat. 12-02-2000    News
    Well, my computer didn't explode.  Do you want to know why?  Because Jesus healed it.  He said I wouldn't
    understand the details of the procedure.  It involved setting the BIOS clock back six years.  Go me.  I'm sorry
    but crazybob.cjb.net is no longer ad free.  I need money, so if everybody could just CLICK on the stupid banners
    at the top just once, I would be very happy.

Fri. 12-01-2000    News -  New Staff -  Reviews
    Added a new section - Submitted Reviews.  Tweak wrote his first review, Froogle Fun 2000.  First rant on
    "Thinking Man's Shooters" written by Bob.  Jesus visited us today, and was promptly hired.  Tomorrow my
    Windows is going to quit working... is this the end for Crazy Bob's Game Reviews?  Probably not.

Thu. 11-30-2000       Reviews
    Crazy Bob has written his review/strategy guide for The Sims.  Oh yeah, my version of Windows ME expires in
    two days... which is bad.

Tue. 11-28-2000        New Staff
    Tweak was recently hired, and is hard at work on his first assignment.

Wed. 11-22-2000        News
    Today, as I was sitting on my ass watching TV, a sudden realization came to me.  I hate a lot of things, and those
    things really, really piss me off.  One of those things, just so happens to be shitty computer games.  So I have decided
    that I have the skill enough to create a damn fine game review site.  Here it is.  Right now, its not very good... wait,
    that's a negative attitude.... uh.... let's see... aw, screw it.  If you get a couple laughs from this site, fine.  If you think
    this site sucks major ass just send your complaint to <complaints@crazybob.cjb.net> and I will try to read it, but
    I'm not good at dealing with criticism.  So, whatever you choose to do, enjoy what my unstable delusional mind creates.